Capricorn Annoyance
by J. D. Devereux
Summary: As many ways as I'm able to think of to annoy our buddy Capricorn. You may recognize this from Quizilla -- it's on my account on there, and is my work. I might go up to 200 ways and may do other charectors. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I own nothing!! (And if that random 'and your result is' crap shows up at the bottom, ignore it – I can't make it go away.)

1. Declare today official "Give Capricorn a Hug" Day. (For Basta say "week" instead of "day")  
2. Read his Father out of Inkheart.  
3. Dye his hair blue in his sleep.  
4. Release the prisoners...including Darius.  
5. Duct tape him to Basta.

6. Duct tape him to his throne.

7.-and make him watch Basta dance Ballet...With Basta in a Tutu...

8. Two words: Itching Powder.

9. Lead a gang of Jehovah's witnesses to the village in an attempt to convert him.

10. Constantly follow him asking if you can teach him to write. If he says no, threaten him...With really stupid threats...

11. Tell him that Basta thinks He`s Hot.

12. Make him watch Teletubbys or some other educational kids program.

13. Tell him Mortola thinks he`s Hot...While she`s in the room...

14. Deliver fake love letters from Mortimer...Or Dustfinger...Or Basta to him.

15. Make him wear a plastic Tiara.

16. Attempt to have a swordfight with him...with sporks...

17. Attempt to steal his clothes...While he`s wearing them...

18. Tell him to get a life.

19. Stalk him...While in Plain sight...

20. Repeatedly try to poke him with spoons, forks, or sporks...

21. Make him listen to the song Puff the Magic Dragon...A million times...in a row...

22. Make him hug a tree.

23. Duct tape him to Elinor.

24. Superglue small, random objects to him in his sleep. [I.e. matchsticks, pieces of paper, crayons, tennis balls, etc]

25. Make him walk around the village in a red bikini all day...and nothing else.

26. Call him a Dumb Blonde.  
27. Randomly try to attack him with a stapler, telling him it's a lethal weapon.  
28. On his birthday, get him a cake with a _Male_ stripper inside, and when he asks why it was male, say"Oh...well...we all thought you were gay...so....yeah."  
29. At like midnight, burst into his room and shout, "GUESSS WHO MADE WAFFLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Especially funny if he sleeps in his underwear only.  
30. Give him a pimp cane and constantly refer to him as 'Big Daddy'.

31. Refer to him as 'Doctor Evil'.  
32. Tell him all about Basilisks, leaving out that they are not real and that there like, a mile long, offer to buy one for him, and return with a little Garden snake.  
33. Randomly come in at unbelievable moments, [like after Mo reads treasure out of books] and shout "YOU JUST GOT PUNK`D!!!!!" Over and over, wearing a trucker hat, of course.  
34. When telling him that someone refuses to give him something, say, before you say "so-and-so won't give you there whatever" say 'In accordance to the prophecy'.  
35. Go up randomly and kick him. When asked why you did it, say Basta did it. [Especially funny if Basta is not in the room].

36. Put on a toupee that's his exact hair color, wear a red suit with a black shirt underneath, burst into the church, panting, "THROW THAT IMPOSTOR IN THE CRYPT!!!!!!!!!!!!"In a really bad imitation of his voice. Especially funny if your fat or short or something, or have a really high voice. Extra points if you're Female, and your normal hair is visible under the toupee.  
37. Handcuff him to the inside of one of the tell anyone he's there. Extra points if you go in there after like, five days, and eat in front of him.  
38. Pass a note that says 'I`m Gay.' to someone, make sure that they see it, and when it's confiscated and read aloud by Capricorn, when he says' I'm Gay' Burst out laughing.  
a whoopee cushion on his armchair.  
40. Whenever he enters a room, randomly start singing the 'Phantom of The Opera' Theme. Continue humming it while he`s talking and such.

41. Whenever he enters a room, randomly start humming Darth Vader's Theme.  
42. Refer to him as 'The dark lord' or 'Voldemort'. Extra points if you call him 'The Dark Lord Moldy Shorts.'  
43. Replace his Shampoo with syrup.  
44. Release rabid squirrels on him.  
45. Cut the legs off of his armchair and make him feel real short. Extra points if you paint it pink too.

46. Replace his shoes with high-heeled leather boots. Extra points if you throw in fishnets instead of socks.  
47. Attempt to spray-paint him blue...while he's awake and trying to talk to someone. Extra points if you go straight for his face.  
48. Demand he do the 'Truffle Shuffle'. Extra points if you know what I`m talking about.  
49. Start saying things to him that are from 'Charlie the Unicorn'. Extra points if you know what I`m talking about again.  
50. Staple random things to him. Extra points if it's a phone book, or you do it while he`s conscious.

Close or ESC Key

**25 ways to annoy Capricorn[from Inkheart]!2!!!!!SPARKLESPARKLESPARKLE!**

**Your Result**

him a Dumb Blonde. try to attack him with a stapler, telling him its a lethal weapon. his birthday, get him a cake with a _Male_ stripper inside, and when he asks why it was male, say"Oh...well...we all thought you were gay...soo....yea." like midnight, burst into his room and shout,"GUESS WHO MADE WAFFLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Especially funny if he sleeps in his underwear only. him a pimp cane and constantly refer to him as 'Big Daddy'.

**Your Result**

to him as 'Doctor Evil'. him all about Basalisks, leaving out that they are not real and that there like, a mile long, offer to buy one for him, and return with a little Garden snake. come in at unbelievable moments,[like after Mo reads treasure out of books] and shout"YOU JUST GOT PUNK`D!!!!!" Over and over, wearing a trukercap of course. 34. When telling him that someone refuses to give him something, say, before you say"so-and-so wont give you there whatever" say 'In accordance to the prophecy'. up randomly and kick him. When asked why you did it, say Basta did it.[especially funny if Basta is not in the room].

**Your Result**

on a toupee thats his exact hair color, wear a red suit with a black shirt underneith, burst into the church, panting,"THROW THAT IMPOSTOR IN THE CRYPT!!!!!!!!!!!!"in a really bad imitation of his voice. Especially funny if your fat or short or something, or have a really high voice. Extra points if your Female, and your normal hair is visible under the toupee. him to the inside of one of the tell anyones hes there. Extra points if you go in there after like, five days, and eat in front of him. a note that says 'I`m Gay.' to someone, make sure that they see it, and when its confiscated and read aloud by Capricorn,when he says'I`m Gay.' Burst out laughing. a whopee cushion on his armchair. he enters a room, randomly start singing the 'Phantom of The Opera' Theme. Continue humming it while he`s talking and such.

**Your Result**

he enters a room, randomly start humming Darth Vaders Theme. 42. Refer to him as 'The dark lord' or 'Voldemort'. Extra points if you call him 'The Dark Lord MoldyShorts.' his Shampoo with syrup. rabid squirrels on him. 45. Cut the legs off of his armchair and make him feel real short. Extra points if you paint it pink too.

**Your Result**

his shoes with high-heeled leather boots. Extra points if you throw in fishnets instead of socks. to spray-paint him blue...while hes awake and trying to talk to someone. Extra points if you go straight for his face. he do the 'Truffle Shuffle'.Extra points if you know what I`m talking about. saying things to him that are from 'Charlie the Unicorn'.Extra points if you know what I`m talking about again. random things to points if its a phone book, or you do it while he`s concious.


	2. DUSTFINGER! Part 1, 25 ways

A/N: After a few requests, I'm finally doing another. This one's for you, Dustfinger! (D-Dadday) I'd like to say that at this point, it's not even about annoying them anymore. This is just pure fun and nonsense, now.

1. Stand _way_ to close to him in line for anything. Don't forget to stare and eat melty candy bars very loudly. Don't look away when he looks at you – it'll creep him out more.

2. Whenever he says anything, respond with, 'Wow—that happened in my fanfic!'

3. Frequently dump buckets of water on him, and when he looks pissed off, say, 'Sorry, thought you were on fire. It's kinda your thing, right?"

4. Demand that he 'flame up.' (If you get the reference, bonus points, if I got the reference wrong (I seriously have no idea) and you notice it and tell me, mega-super bonus points.)

5. Kidnap Farid. Say you're a black jacket. When he finds out, say, 'Wait a second . . . crap! Wrong kid!'

6. Get him hopelessly addicted to Nutella.

7. Tell him you can get him back to his world. When he arrives, say '_You didn't bring the pants of power? All is hopeless! It's probably in the hands of fricken' Mauldorf, idiot._' Start rubbing your head as if you have a vicious migraine from his 'stupidity.' (If you say you get the reference, you fail. I just made that up.)

8. Say that you'll pay him fifty bucks to find the black sheep in the flock. Put him in a farmyard with a flock of sheep. . . . All white sheep.

9. Cook Gwin*. Serve him to Dustfinger. *Don't actually cook Gwin.

10. Introduce him to texting.

11. Set him on fire (I wonder what would happen?)

12. Hug him. And don't let go.

13. Duct tape him to Elinor.

14. Introduce him to Pokémon.

15. Make him watch Glee. Get him hopelessly addicted.

16. Get him on .

17. . . . and don't forget to tell the fangirls.

18. Ask him if he wears his sunglasses at night.

19. Duct tape him to Capricorn.

20. Duct tape him to Basta.

21. While he's sleeping, dress him up as a lawn gnome . . .

22. . . . and glue the costume on.

23. Glue an icecream cone to his forehead and call him 'The prettiest unicorn in the whole wild world.'* (Quote lovingly provided by my seven year old stepbrother.) (No, I mean WILD.)

24. Tell him Roxane ran off with some 'four eyes' guy.

25. Show him this list!


End file.
